Old Lady Dance Club

So Annie and I were just talking today how we'd love to know exactly how many calories we used to burn off in our younger dancing days. I have to admit, I may be a middle-aged mom, but I used to LOVE to dance and I still miss it. My favorite nights were those when we'd all get dressed up and go to a place that played everything...meaning that while I danced with the girls, I'd still get to country dance with Patrick intermittently, too. Gosh I miss jitterbugging! Patrick would flip me 5 different ways back then because he was stronger and I was lighter...LOL! And you knew it was a special night if I actually got him out on the dance floor for a non-country song! I'm pretty sure the last time that happened was my 30th b-day.

But now I think I'd have a different list of requirements for a dance club...here's my model for the perfect club for my 30s.

* Only people 30 years and over allowed. It would be great if we could exclude all single guys (but keep our single girlfriends), so that we don't have to worry about annoying cling-ons (you know those guys that follow you around the club all night!).
* No smoking. How the hell did we handle places like that in college? The few times we've gone someplace like that since I think it's taken me days before I can breathe normally again. We're old, we have allergies, and people over 30 have no business smoking anymore anyway.
* A BIG dance floor. I hate these little places that think they're a dance club but the dance floor is as big as my hardwoods in the living room. In college, we had dance HALLs. I guess that's what I'm looking for here. I need some space people!
* Open early, close early. In college, we didn't get to the club until sometime between 10 and 11pm....now that's about the time I'm ready to be in bed.
* Low-cal drinks. The drink menu should have calories attached. If we knew how many calories were in a Lemon Drop shot, do you really think we'd keep downing them?
* No fluorescent lights in the bathroom. Seriously no one looks good in that harsh light after sweating and dancing, but we really don't want to see that at our age!

Sometimes I just still get the urge to put on my hooker heels and dance on a speaker box...is that so wrong?

I Took a Shellacking...

I caved and finally tried that new Shellac manicure. I've always had "great" nails, and for that reason, I've never gotten fake nails for fear they'd screw up the good nails I already had. The only draw was that I could never keep polish on my real nails for even 24 hours without major chipping, etc. Between washing this much hair and putting on latex gloves pretty much daily, it's impossible.



So rumor is this new polish is the thing to do. It dries instantly (I can attest to that already) and you can't screw it up trying to get your keys in the door minutes later. It's supposed to look this good for at least 2 weeks...we shall see. I'm certainly tough on my nails, so if it makes me a believer then I'll be impressed!



Here we go...Day 1

Training Redux

Certain people have been on me to update (again), so I had a thought to do a marathon training redux post...to recount the good, the bad, the "awwww", and the "wtf". So here it goes...

The Bad (Injuries):
Runner's knee...in both knees
Angry IT Band
Foot tendinitis
Turning my right ankle...twice...and then my left
Calf pain...
That time Kellen threw up the whole road trip to a race...and then I was convinced I was going to puke the morning of the race
Pulling my Achilles when answering the door 2 days before the San Antonio half
Running 22 miles with pneumonia

The Good:
Patrick and the kids meeting me at La Madeleine after a milestone run
Patrick meeting me along the path of a solo long run
Learning that when it hurts, that doesn't mean it's over
The wonderful misery that is the foam roller
Discovering Sweaty Bands
Running into my ob/gyn who delivered both kids at 2 different races...LOL!
The post-race fiesta at the La Porte half...I didn't even know I liked Smirnoff ; )
The flower crowns at Mi Tierra after the San Antonio Half
Crossing that finish line even with the odds not in my favor

Most memorable "WTF" moment:
My intimate encounter with the bushes (which thankfully came a couple days after someone suggested I run with TP in my FuelBelt!)

Most "Awwww" moment:
The La Porte Half marathon, when Patrick and I crossed paths on the out and back, we stopped to kiss before pressing on in our separate directions.

Moving forward...
I'm committed to being a better runner, but a better healthier runner. This is my first week running since the marathon. I've run 2 miles...3 times this week. But this week is the first time I've run WITHOUT knee braces since September. I'm absolutely committed to running without those knee braces, so if I have to run 2 miles for a couple of months then I will. But so far so good. The knees feel weird, but I could run farther, I could run faster, but I hold back for now. I want to rebuild, and I want to be better than before. I'm really excited about the path before me. This is only the beginning...I only ran my first race ever a year ago this month (an untimed 5K LOL!), but I have so many more left to go!

26.2

Last April at my dissertation defense, they asked me what I was going to do now that I was done…I said I was going to run a marathon…and so I did.

I finished. My knee was excruciating, my body was not cooperating, and it was the worst run I’ve ever had in my life. And I still finished. Some of you commented that it’s those more difficult runs that sometimes mean more to you than the ones that went as planned…that’s the column this run will go in. But regardless of what could have gone better or what could have gone worse, against all odds, I finished.

So the knee only continued to get worse prior to the race. It bugged me walking around the expo on Friday really badly, and after a fairly calm Saturday, I decided to do some stretching which made it even angrier. All of this led to it feeling the worst it has ever felt on the morning of the race.

As I walked into the convention center, I couldn’t even get excited. All I kept thinking was that I didn’t belong there, that I was kidding myself to think that I was ever going to get past the first 3 miles, that this was only going to make my inevitable DNF that much more embarrassing. I worried that no one truly understood how screwed my knee was, that they thought it would magically not hurt until mile 20 or so. I was pretty much freaking out in the hour before the race.

Elizabeth and Annie took off to the first wave starting line, and I walked with the boys to the second wave starting line. I lined up with the 4:45 pacers (mistake #1) and met a nice lady who gave me these Salonpas patches for my knee. I don’t know if they helped or not, but I wasn’t one to pass on any extra help for the knee! Before I knew it, we were off and running. The 4:45 pacers were moving pretty quick…I realized too late that we were looking at about a 10min/mile pace where they should have been closer to 11min/mile pace…and this included extra energy weaving around the crowd. Patrick would tell me later that he saw 4:45 pacers right behind the 4:30 pacers…not surprising.

I made a point to look at my watch when I first felt my knee hurt significantly…it said 0.22 miles.

At this point, I knew that finishing wasn’t really a possibility, but I kept pushing forward because I wasn’t about to drop out before I even got out of downtown! By 3 miles, I knew I had gone out too fast (Everyone tells you not to go out too fast, and I still screw it up!). Luckily, I started to listen to my body and not worry about pace groups anymore. Honestly, at the 5K marker, I was surprised I was still running, and was hopeful that everyone would get the text message that I had at least made it to the first marker.

Now I’ve only been running consistently for just over a year, but I know that there are days that feel good and days when you just don’t have it…this was by far the latter. Everything felt WRONG, even this early in the race, and it was so much more than just my knee. By the time I saw the boys at around mile 7, I was hot, flustered, my breathing was screwed, not at all how I’ve been after 18-22 miles, how could I feel that bad after just 7? My knee was killing me, and this was by far the worst I had ever felt during a run in my life. But I was still moving, meaning there was still hope, so I was smiling .
I told Patrick it was the worst pain I’ve ever felt, gave him a kiss, but pressed on. As I ran away from them just wondering at what point I’d have to call them to pick me up, the rain started to come down harder and then the Last of the Mohicans song came on (you know the one from the Nike commercial with LT and Shawn Merriman)…so I garnered up a little more strength, put my head down, and kept running.

The next few miles were pretty brutal mentally. Nothing was getting any better, and I was getting tired. The idea that I wasn’t even halfway done was more than I could handle emotionally, but I knew that I wasn’t done trying…so I kept moving forward. I really didn’t have any reaction when the half-marathoners split off at mile 9, I knew that I still had a hell of a fight left. At mile 10, there was a priest on the side of the road blessing runners with holy water…I veered over that direction to be blessed because I needed something to make me believe I had a chance. When I reached the half-marathon point, I could not comprehend how I could keep going for any longer…but I did. My legs were already heavy, muscles were cramping, my stomach was a tight ball, and my form was a disaster. In all of my training runs, I had never even glimpsed “the wall”, but I’d honestly say I hit it around mile 13. I’d never had that feeling of “how do I keep my legs moving”. As I moved along the course, I found that I had to bargain with myself to get moving again after the water stops. Every time I started again, the first 10 steps or so would hurt my knee so badly that I thought this was it, this was the end, this is when I can’t compel my body to move anymore…but I kept moving. During these miles, I saw the 5 hr pace group…stayed with them for a little while, and then let them go. I saw the 5:15 pace group and stayed with them for awhile, but then I knew my miles had to be numbered, so I tried to conserve as much as I could, just on the slim chance I could tough it out a few more miles, get just a little closer.
I was walking when I saw the boys again just before mile 20. I had nothing left. My body had nothing left to give. Every muscle was seizing, every joint was locking and searing in pain, my head was throbbing, my hands were numb, I didn’t even understand how my feet were lifting off the ground anymore, my knee was starting to give way every few minutes, my stomach was in such a tight painful knot that I was just waiting (desperately wanting!) to throw up. By seeing Patrick’s face, I knew I didn’t look good. But then he told me that I could walk the rest of the way and still beat the 6 hr time limit. This was a relief, but what he didn’t realize was that I was feeling so bad that I was worried that I wouldn’t even last that long. He offered to walk the rest of the way with me, but I said no, that I wanted to run…so I did. Slowly, I set off again, determined to keep moving no matter what. I was so close that I didn’t want to think about giving up at that point.
You learn a lot about yourself those last 6 miles. I kept thinking “This is the worst I’ve ever felt in my life”…and then I’d quickly catch myself and realize that no, I’d endured far worse…this was just physical pain…as one sign said “pain goes away”. So I thought about the kids…I thought about what we went through to have them…I thought about Patrick and all we’ve done over the past 14.5 years…I thought about how proud my parents would be if I finished…I thought about the charm Patrick had already bought me that had the marathon date on it (LOL!)…and I thought about telling my kids someday about the first time I ran a marathon…and I kept moving.

What I saw those last few miles was startling…people sitting on the curb crying, puking, passing out. Ambulances coming. The medical tents overflowing with people being held upright, people with their shoes off trying to deal with blisters, people taping one injury or another. I saw bloody people, sideways walking people, people dragging a leg, and no one at the back of the pack looked how I expected (honestly, you expect the overweight and the old). They mostly looked like me…middle-aged fit men and women who were fighting to keep moving.

Now let me take a moment to say that crowd support (especially given the crappy weather conditions) was amazing throughout, but those people that line the last 4 miles were outstanding. I never felt alone. When I finally hit downtown and saw the marathon banners, that honestly was the first moment where I KNEW I was going to make it. When I saw the barricades in the last half mile, I started to pick up the pace. I heard my name so many times as I came through that final stretch, I passed so many people because the adrenaline had me cruising at near normal finishing speed. But in all that, it was only Patrick’s voice that made me turn for just a second.

5:24:11

I find myself thinking “I should have pushed with the 5 hr group…or at least the 5:15 group”, but in the end, pushing a little more, may have led me to be one of the people passed out on the curb. I probably shouldn’t have been able to finish, but I did.

Come to find out later, everyone was pretty skeptical about me actually being able to finish, but they knew I was too stubborn not to try. 26.2 miles is a long way to go in pain…but I’ve been through worse, and I like surprising people...especially myself.

I’m already planning to do this again. At least with this slower time, it will be pretty easy to beat it…but I won’t take anything over 5 hours next time!

A few other random thoughts…
Favorite sign: “BTHO the Marathon” (only Aggies will appreciate this one)
Runner-up sign: “Just don’t poop yourself”
Best Ipod moment: A song by 12 Stones that includes the line “Can’t break the broken”
Most random sighting: My boss spectating on the course!
Best mantra: When all else failed, I kept saying “Just don’t fall” (Thanks Kerri!)
Best moment: Coming down the final stretch, hearing Patrick, and turning just in time to see pure joy and pride on his face…I’ll never forget that moment…there’s was no pain for those few seconds.
Runner up moment: Getting a text from my dad afterwards that was like a paragraph…meaning it probably took him 30 minutes to text it!
Best ugly cry moment: When I finally got to hug Patrick, then Annie walked up and she got the encore ugly cry.

Thanks for coming along for the ride…but beware…this is just the beginning!

Doubt

That little ticker off to the side is really pissing me off right now...

Short story: My knee is hurt, my marathon is screwed.

Long story: The run right after the 22-miler I felt some serious twinges in my knee, but I rested a couple of days and had a good run that Thursday. But the following Monday, I had terrible knee pain at 2.5 miles in and limped through to get to about 6 miles. Since then, I haven't run at all, and there has been no improvement. I went to my orthopedic. He messed with it 20 different ways, took x-rays, and said it's most likely tendinitis. Nothing we can do except physical therapy and maybe an MRI to see if we're missing something. He recommended waiting 3-4 weeks after the marathon and then regrouping.

So yes, he said I could run, but over a week later and no improvement and it's looking bad for me. But I'm stubborn, so I'm still going to line up on Sunday and pray for a miracle. I don't want to look back months from now and just wish I had tried. I may only make it one mile, but I'll feel like I did all I could. He said I can't do anymore damage by trying to run that one last time, and then I promise to do whatever I need to to ditch these knee braces and try to get healthy.

It is unbelievably frustrating to go through all of this, work through all of the problems, feel good about getting through 22 miles, and then bam...you're done. I'd like to think I'll have the determination and strength to do this again, but we all know how life gets in the way. This was my chance, and I just don't want it to slip through my fingers when I'm this close.

So I sit here, I ice, I stretch, I pop Aleve, I slather myself in Biofreeze, and I pray...the latter being the only real chance I have at this point.

But as well all know (and I constantly remind myself) worse things could (and have) happened...so while I'm disappointed, it's only temporary.

Pneumonia, 22 Miles, and Soccer Season

First, let me get my breathing under control after seeing that damn ticker on my blog page that says 15 freaking days until the marathon...oh crap!

Ok, back to our recap of the past couple of weeks. So I had a cough...it sucked. Started before Christmas, I coughed, kids coughed, Patrick coughed, they stopped...I kept coughing...crap. But I convinced myself everything was ok because I "didn't feel bad"...until I started feeling bad. One day of bleh followed by a night of fever, sweats, chills, nausea, exhaustion, etc., sent me to the doctor. There I got a presumptive diagnosis of pneumonia (oh joy!) and a hyped up dose of antibiotics. More concerning than the pneumonia was the fact that I had a 22 mile run scheduled a couple of days later (I'm sensing my priorities may be skewed right now...). Anyway, after being fairly miserable, I found myself finally feeling normal again, AND (an important and) the dr. had cleared me to go ahead with my run if I took it slow and truly felt better...so I went.

My last long run...I give myself LOTS of credit for going slow and staying more than cautious. I walked every water/jelly bean break, and I stayed well below race pace. At about 7.5 miles along, I noticed two guys running up ahead. Since I did not know this route, I planned to keep them in view. Around mile 10, I got close enough that they introduced themselves. They were doing a run 9 min/walk 1 min, and I thought that would probably preserve my knees as best as possible. So I stuck with them the rest of the way, even though I felt like I could have gone faster many times (but also pushed to stay with them on a couple of uphills when my knee was angry). They were so great to take me along with them, and I am so appreciative. We kept it slow and I ended up finishing up 22 miles feeling like I could keep going AND pick up the pace.

I felt decent after my ice bath (although tight) and felt pretty good the day after. But this past Monday I hopped on the treadmill to run and EVERYTHING hurt. I had a scary twinge in my knee and bailed a minute early. I still find myself sore, but I had a decent 3 mile run yesterday. This is the taper, time to heal, but also time to drive yourself crazy thinking of everything that's "injured". I have to have faith that I've put in the work, even putting in more miles than required the past few weeks. I'm going to allow myself to run slower, take extra rest days, be lazy ; ). I've made it this far, I just need to be able to line up in 2 weeks feeling remotely good. Just having the courage to stand at that starting line will be a battle won!

In other news, my little diva has had fun dressing in cold weather this week. I promise to get better about pictures very soon. KK the Destroyer meanwhile is exploring lots of fruit...hasn't met one he doesn't like lately, which for Mr. Picky Eater is quite the accomplishment.

And finally, January always brings the start of soccer season. I have to admit things are going much more smoothly than I anticipated. Come to find out, I tend to underestimate my abilities as a mother. But I give huge credit to my difficult road here. It's much easier to be appreciative of wiping a wiggling butt while a toddler is twirling your hair in your face when you prayed for that kind of "trouble" for so long...LOL!

One fail for me...dum-dum is watching a horror movie tonight when it's still hours before Patrick gets home from soccer. Someday I'm going to have to get over a LOT of fears before the kids realize it...you know...my fears of bees, the dark, scary movies, and most importantly...water. If I don't chicken out, this summer will be full of my first foray into not drowning, I mean swimming.

Obligatory New Year's Post

I know at the end of a year and the start of a new one that everyone likes to either 1) recap the past year and or 2) forecast the new year. I guess I'll do some hybrid of both. I can't seem to just let all of this rely on one year prior and one year following though. So much history and so much future relies on these two intersecting years...

Anyway, old Mexican wives tales say that what you do on New Year's Day will predict how your year will go. In terms of running, that means great things. I had a very easy recovery run today. Easy in that I had to keep making myself slow down...it was the kind of run where time flew by, the weather was awesome, the pace was simple, and I "felt like a real runner". Plus I even did some yoga after!

In terms of family life, we had a day focused on us. We hung out, played, laughed...with no other priorities other than taking care of ourselves and each other...I truly hope that's the kind of year we have.

Monday starts the hyped up rat race again. I will hit the ground running at work because I have a LOT to do this month. Patrick's soccer season also starts this week, which means I have to step up the supermom effort. In addition, this is the toughest week of my marathon training. We all need a lot of focus to get through this week, but I have faith that we will all surpass our expectations of ourselves and each other.

In other news, I hate fireworks. Yes, they're pretty, but I feel they have no place in the suburbs. We have toddlers trying to sleep. Larkin woke up about 11:15 last night, so she had her first New Year's celebration...LOL! Which she spent making her Daddy play Kinectimals so she could see the tiger : ) Luckily, we were all back asleep before 1am. Kellen on the other hand, slept through like a champ...and then everyone slept until after 7:30am this morning, so that was a nice break for us. French toast cooked by Daddy for breakfast and they were off and running.

As I said, a retrospective of one year just brings in thoughts of years prior. New Year's has been difficult in years past. Six years ago I spent it at my grandfather's funeral...the next 2 years after that I spent it mourning pregnancy losses. Thankfully, the next 2 years after that I spent pregnant...and then watching monitors hoping the kids didn't wake up with the fireworks. So as Patrick and I sat here last night, drinking our New Year's cocktails, playing Kinect pingpong (plus other games...LOL!), and of course, watching the monitors, he kept apologizing that we weren't doing anything more grand...and I kept saying I wouldn't have it any other way....
Because had things continued to go badly 4 years ago...sure, we would have been at some fancy hotel downtown having a great time...but without anyone ever seeing it on my face, I would have killed to be the one in her PJs snuggling with a toddler and watching her other child on the monitor while kissing her husband at midnight...as much as he didn't realize last night...that was my perfect New Year's Eve...the one I always dreamed of and feared would never happen. I wouldn't have changed a thing.
...Hope yours was just as good...and that next year's will be even better.