Spring Retrospective

Edited to add: I find it funny that no one (especially me!) noticed I put "4 years ago" and "3 years ago" effectively making my kids one year older a piece than they actually are...LOL!

So this time of year holds a lot of memories for me. For quite some time, I found blogging to be good therapy. I’ve yet to really allow this blog to serve that purpose for me, but I think it’s time to start! Spring has been an interesting season for us over the past few years…truly heaven and hell.

6 Years Ago in the Spring…

In simple terms: I found out I was pregnant for the first time. I found out what it was like to miscarry for the first time. Neither of those being the last of those occurrences.

In complex terms: My infertility journey really got interesting. I jumped from the “I can’t get pregnant” to the “I can’t stay pregnant” category. Both categories suck. That spring brought me the honor of being a statistical anomaly. I had an ectopic pregnancy, oh but wait, we’re sorry, it was a heterotopic pregnancy (that would be one in the tubes, one in the uterus…at the same time), oh but hell, what does it matter, you lost them both. Then we find out I have a uterine septum (big divider going down the middle of my uterus…not supposed to be there for those of you who never paid attention in health class), get that removed and we’re off and running.

The next few springs….rinse and repeat. More positive pregnancy tests, still no baby, more subsequent surgeries to fix whatever the hell new problem they found (increasing my prowess as a statistical anomaly…everyone knows I’m an overachiever).

But then 3 Years Ago in the Spring… And then 2 Years Ago in the Spring… Turns out there’s a lot more “good” to celebrate every spring than “bad” to mourn!!! But in the end, I still remember all of the “bad” like it was yesterday. My scars run deep, the physical are fading (I don’t even see them anymore), but the emotional will always be there I think. For those of you that remember, I think I’ll always still consider myself “that girl” when it comes to that journey in my life. I still never hesitate to share my story with anyone I think it might help. And every now and then, I still get that urge to write that book that people have encouraged over the years…one of these days maybe. I still have a lot to get out…but in the end, as I always say, I am one of the lucky ones…and things like making cookies will always take priority over writing a book ; )