Rebuttal of "That Hateful Autism Letter"

In case you missed it, a terrible letter was sent to a grandmother that was watching her autistic grandson this summer. You can read the news coverage here.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/dailybrew/ontario-police-aware-hateful-letter-telling-family-euthanize-171036930.html

I’ve been trying to find a way to address this situation in a productive way. I decided that this was my best outlet. Below you’ll find the full text of the letter, with my comments inserted in parentheses.

To the lady living at this address:

I also live in this neighborhood and have a problem!!! (...a problem with over-punctuation apparently). You have a kid that is mentally handicapped and you consciously decided that it would be a good idea to live in a close proximity neighborhood like this???? (You missed a comma...obviously you play favorites when it comes to punctuation.) You selfishly put your kid outside everyday and let him be a nothing but a nuisance and a problem to everyone else with that noise polluting whaling he constantly makes!!! (First...run-on sentence, missing a comma, and it’s “wailing”. If you think he’s killing whales in the backyard then obviously you should check your medication.) That noise he makes when he is outside is DREADFUL!!!!!!!!!! It scares the hell out of my normal children!!!!!!! (Wow, scared “normal” kids, however will they recover? Why not take this teachable moment and tell them exactly what that “dreadful” noise is? Kids are innocent and accepting. It’s parents like you that teach intolerance and discrimination. Way to go.) When you feel your idiot kid needs fresh air, take him to our park you dope!!! (And you can’t go to said park because...?) We have a nature trail!! (Awesome, maybe you should go start exercising so that you have a chance at outrunning the angry mob...go ahead, get going. Should I take this moment to mention that a large number of super-angry autism moms also run marathons to raise funds for autism research and awareness? Hope you’re in good shape!) Let him run around those places and make noise!!!!!! Crying babies, music and even barking dogs are normal sounds in a residential neighborhood!!!!! He is NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (You want to talk about normal? Sixteen exclamation points is not normal. If you really wanted to make your point strongly, why in the world wouldn’t you utilize all caps for the whole letter? DUH!)

He is a hindrance to everyone and will always be that way!!!!! (Well the world is still spinning with you in it, so I’m thinking he has a fair shot.) Who the hell is going to care for him?????? (Are you saying that you’re not available to help?) No employer will hire him, no normal girl is going to marry/love him and you are not going to live forever!! (Neither are you genius, and if autism saves him from a wife like you, then thank goodness for that.) Personally, they should take whatever non retarded body parts he possesses and donate it to science. (I’m thinking “non retarded” should be hyphenated. Why don’t you go first with the donations? Your brain could potentially provide exciting data on the origins of hate...then again, the specimen would probably be too small. Never mind!) What the hell else good is he to anyone!!! (Is this a question?) You had a retarded kid, deal with it…properly!!!!! (Sounds like they are, too bad you’re not doing the same with your children.) What right do you have to do this to hard working people!!!!!!! (I’m just going to go out on a limb and say you have no idea what hard work is. If you’d like to know, give me a call. However my hard work requires you to understand a lot of big words, so I’m not sure you’d even begin to comprehend (see small brain referenced above)). I HATE people like you who believe, just because you have a special needs kid, you are entitled to special treatment!!! (Special treatment, no. Compassion, acceptance, and maybe a smile and wave from our neighbors, yes. Every person on this earth deserves that.) GOD!!!!!! (Now you’ve done it. Did you really want to call his attention to this letter? Better prepare for an eternity of warm weather...I‘ve heard the screaming there is dreadful as well, how unfortunate for you.)

Do everyone in our community huge a favor and MOVE!!!! (“Huge a favor” is an awesome phrase, think I’ll start using it.) VAMOSE!!! (Ooooo, pulling out a big word.) SCRAM!!!! (Are they cats or have you time traveled about 50 years in the past?) Move away and get out of this type of neighborhood setting!!! (I’m thinking the neighborhood setting is not going to work out for you after this letter.) Go live in a trailer in the woods or something with your wild animal kid!!! (Wild animal kid, so maybe he really was “whaling”? Your letter is really lacking detail here. Also, I’m thinking you may be more suited to a trailer.) Nobody wants you living here and they don’t have the guts to tell you!!!!! (Well I’m pretty sure A LOT of people are going to have the guts to tell you that they don’t want you living there anymore. Good luck on your housing search!)

Do the right thing and move or euthanize him!!! Either way, we are ALL better off!!!

Sincerely,

One pissed off mother!!!!! (Oh you can’t even imagine what a pissed off mother really is. Apparently we can add “coward” to your growing list of attributes. Sign your name if you mean it.)

The one comment I didn’t touch was the line suggesting the child be euthanized. There’s nothing funny about that. There’s no witty comment that makes that any better. Every mother of an autistic child read that line and felt their throat tighten, their stomachs lurch, the hair on the back of their neck stand up, and their fists close. How dare you. How dare you for one second suggest that these children’s lives have no value. You are a sad excuse for a human being, and I pity you and your poor children. But thank you. Thank you for rallying the community around this family. Thank you for again uniting all families facing autism on a daily basis. Thank you for reminding me that what I do for my child every day matters to this world. Thank you for reminding me that even on my worst parenting day, my kids will be so much better off than the children that are raised by parents like you.

This is the world we live in, whether we want to admit it or not. I won’t stop trying to change this world. I share the good and the bad of our lives with autism. And in the end, I hope I can arm all of my family, friends, and readers with the information, the compassion, and the acceptance that the autism community needs.