My Constant

Leave it to me to pull in a Lost reference at a time like this...

When things go bad, when a single pulled thread starts unraveling your carefully laid plans, when a phone call turns your world upside down, who do you run to? Do you have to think about it? Do you wonder who to call, do you have to consider who you want in your corner for a fight?

There is no thought process for me...it's Patrick. That's who I call, that's who I run to, that's the person I can fall apart in front of...the person who will put me back together. He is my sanity, my strength, my constant.

You know those couples with the "perfect lives" who just somehow got bored with each other and fell out of love, sought out excitement elsewhere, forgot why they were together, etc? I joked recently that we don't have to worry about that! Life has a tendency to throw us one difficult situation after another...and it just makes us stronger.

Difficult times bring out different things in different people. Stress can cause couples to fight, to distance themselves, to seek happiness elsewhere. We've had a lot of practice in difficult times (infertility was like boot camp for autism apparently)...and every time we have run straight for each other and held on for dear life. It is us against the world...and it always will be.

We make a pretty good team. Patrick is logical, rational, strategic..until he has to kick some ass and then watch out. I pretty much start out trying to kick everyone's ass before the logic kicks in...I'm all emotion first. So the two of us are perfectly balanced...and together, we are strong, we are brilliant, and there's nothing we wouldn't do for our little family.

I'll be back at blogging now...I need the therapy...lol! And I'll catch you up as to what's been happening (which those of you on Facebook know). Suffice to say, I got one of those stomach-flipping calls. And while we're still in the thick of figuring it all out, what I can tell you is that we will be ok.

I've apparently lost it enough that I'm quoting Ke$ha lyrics, but it sums up my feelings perfectly.
"I don't wanna think about what's gonna be after this, I wanna just live right now."

After a particularly stressful couple of days where we realized that we were going to have to dramatically change our plans with Kellen, Patrick took me dancing. Because we needed an escape, because we hadn't been in forever, because he wanted us to remember happy, because he knows me like no one else.

So no matter what happens in this life, I always know who I'll call, who I'll run to, who I want in my corner for a fight. And I wish the same for all of you.